Fatima Bhutto, the granddaughter of Pakistan’s first elected Prime Minister Zulfikar Ali Bhutto and the literary-minded daughter of Mir Murtaza Bhutto, has written a memoir titled The Hour of the Wolf (idiomatic meaning: the terrifying hour before dawn) in the New Year. In this memoir, she uses her pet puppy “Coco” and her own life as metaphors to explain the psychological and human problems born out of dictatorship, oppression, and tyranny.
Fatima Bhutto also recounts the loneliness she experienced after the death of Murtaza Bhutto and the emotional highs and lows she endured. On one hand, she exposes, moment by moment, the story of love involving an unnamed person whom she calls “The Man”—an eleven-year secret romance filled with false promises and betrayal. On the other hand, she weaves into her memoir her love for her stepbrother Zulfikar Junior and her deep attachment to her puppy “Coco.”
For the first time, she also speaks openly about her stepmother, Ghinwa Bhutto. She writes that her stepmother has a habit of controlling others. Recounting an incident, she writes on page 41 that she raised the question with her stepmother Ghinwa Bhutto: why could she not manage her own wealth herself, and why could she not check her own accounts? At this, Ghinwa Bhutto abused her verbally, shut the door, and stormed out. Before leaving, she said angrily, “I saved your life after your father’s death, and this is how you repay me—by questioning accounts?”
After this, Ghinwa Bhutto threatened to leave the house and slammed the door loudly. According to Fatima Bhutto, overwhelmed by feelings of violence and deprivation at the hands of those close to her, she immediately surrendered before her stepmother and said that she would no longer look into the accounts in the future.
Fatima Bhutto writes: let sleeping dogs lie (do not reopen old stories). While comparing the temperament of her stepmother with the personality of the unnamed romantic “Man,” she writes on page 44:
“The tragedy is that after escaping a controlling and suffocating mother, I fell into another cruel relationship. I was an adult and had many opportunities. In reality, I lacked awareness and understanding of love. The reason lay in my own mistakes and failures.”
Fatima Bhutto describes her love for animals and the way human emotions become attached to them through personal experiences. She writes that her pet deer died because it was given to the Karachi Zoo, and perhaps the reason for its death was a broken heart after being expelled from home. Fatima Bhutto also considers neglect to be the reason for the death of her dog “Lama.” She sees her attachment to her puppy “Coco” as a metaphor for her own loneliness.
She also narrates the story of violence and coercion by the unnamed “Man” with whom she describes her relationship. This man not only killed “Coco” but once twisted Fatima Bhutto’s finger so violently that the tendons in her finger tore apart.
While narrating the story of her relationship with this strange “Man,” she writes on page 55 that he taught her how to walk in the darkness of night under the pale glow of the moon in a way that allows one to fully adjust to the darkness. He also taught her to keep her eyes completely closed in the dark so that she would not even need the dim light of the stars. He taught her to walk barefoot in open spaces with closed eyes, so that her feet could feel the ground.
She writes that when the sounds of wolves or jackals echoed in the forest, that unique “Man” would say, “Keep walking, do not be afraid—animals can sense who is afraid and who is not.” Fatima Bhutto feels that he was training her to survive and remain safe without him. She regards this training as a special kindness.
Fatima Bhutto’s early life was spent in Damascus, Syria. She speaks of her awareness of astronomy and, while narrating the story of navigating night journeys using the Big Dipper, describes the interconnectedness of her life with animals, stars, and human beings.
Memories of moments spent with her father Murtaza Bhutto repeatedly return to her mind. She lived caught between her father’s boundless love for her and the fear of the state and oppression. She kept her loves and relationships hidden so that she could protect and save them.
In her earlier book Sweat and Blood, Fatima Bhutto had held Benazir Bhutto responsible for the deaths of her father Murtaza Bhutto and her uncle Shahnawaz Bhutto. However, in the present book, there is no mention of her role. She neither writes about her biological mother nor mentions her cousins Bilawal, Bakhtawar, and Asifa, nor does she recall any memory associated with Benazir Bhutto.
Yesterday, an interview with Fatima Bhutto following the publication of her new book was published in The Guardian newspaper’s book section. In it, it was revealed that she has two children, Mir and Caspian, with her husband Graham, and that her married life is progressing happily. She writes that she has now emerged from the lifelong fear and anxiety of losing relationships connected to her stepmother and the “Man.” She writes:
“Sometimes, even a mother’s love carries a poisonous quality.”
Fatima Bhutto does not write anything about her brother Zulfikar Junior’s politics or future, but it appears that she has completely ruled out any idea of playing a practical role in Pakistani politics. Her mention of her younger stepbrother Zulfikar Junior is affectionate. She also writes that, like her, Zulfikar has a deep emotional bond with animals. When the deer named Bambi was expelled from the house, Zulfikar remained distressed for many days but could not protest before their mother Ghinwa.
Fatima Bhutto’s memoirs are not merely the story of an individual’s failures and deprivations; they are a glimpse into the heavy psychological burden imposed on individuals and societies living under oppression. Until justice and peace prevail, the lives of Fatima Bhutto and those like her will remain hanging on the gallows.